the past few days.

Let’s start with Saturday, December 17th. Went out with the family and drove to Kuala Selangor. We set out from the house at 10AM and got there at 12:30PM due to poor traffic conditions. Enjoyed a nice lunch, bought some seafood, and went back home. Bought this one scary looking but strangely appetizing thing – sadly, I don’t know the name for it in English. Or in Mandarin. I only know how to say it in 舟山话: sounds like huo bi dae zhong.They’re vicious looking with these wicked retractable claws that look like something off of a praying mantis.

I slept sometime after 4AM. Can’t remember specifics, but I was on the phone and whatnot. Woke up at 9:40ish because my dad came into the room and started talking to me. I don’t remember what we talked about, either. Went out to Jusco for the whole day. I’m not paricularly fond of the place, but I guess it beats staying at home.

Dad bought five badminton rackets (raquets?) and got them all strung. Also bought something else very very nice I’m loving it.

Thought about Christmas shopping a bit. I want to get weights. Anything heavier than what I have right now. Clothing and crap. Just because I’m lacking clothes or something. Nothing else that really strikes my fancy, although I could choose to indulge if I felt like it. Then again, my assets are entirely under the control of my parents so tough luck.

Today, drafted up a list of things to get done over the break. Wonder how long I’ll stick fast to what it says. I moved the Harmon Kardon speakers up to my own bedroom, vacuumed my room to clear it of a year’s worth of dust. Now I’ve got my PSP up there belting out music as I see fit. Woohoo!

Getting letters from a number of ‘leadership conferences’. Don’t know what to think about those. I still haven’t received my PSAT scores yet. I want those back.

Well, on to what’s important to me today. I’m nice and all. I can compromise, I forgive, I feel guilt. I reflect on my actions and when I find that I’m the one at fault, I apologize for what I’ve done. However, that’s not a valid reason for anyone to shed the weight of their own problems onto me entirely. While I do make mistakes, I’m not responsible if anyone’s life takes a turn for the worse. There’s no way in hell that I messed up your whole life. That’s bullshit. Think about what you did to me, kthx.

I’m still not at peace with myself. I can apologize, it’s up to you to be mature and accept. This ‘hatred’ that you claim to have for me, I don’t understand where it comes from. It’s funny how feelings change.

More some other date. I can’t think right now.

Ah. Finally, changed around my blog logo a bit. Note I loved, for anyone who found the easter egg. And perhaps I still do. But is my dream really worth the price? Is the reward great enough to keep me going at it? And even if I come back with what I set out to get, how long can I hold on?

December 21 Edit:
Did some more overclocking just to play around. The result, still using AMD64 stock cooler. Is this good?

Listening to: Puddle of Mudd – Nothing Left to Lose

ocing the 3800+ venice.

I decided to do some immediate work on the computers this morning. Very happy that break’s started because it affords me much more time to sit and think.

I cleared out a lot of extraneous software and outdated installers on the Dell. Got rid of the ATi Catalyst 5.10s, cleaned them out with ATi Catalyst Uninstaller, and reinstalled with ATI Catalyst 5.12. Lightened the startup load by removing a number of useless startup apps. Now idle memory usage is low – both the Dell and OCEANBLUe have approximately 32 processes at idle. Superfluous processes are all gone making both machines lean and idle for, well, anything.

While cleaning out installers, I stumbled upon all my benchmarking software. Decided to transfer over 3DMark2001SE and PCMark05 to OCEANBLUe for benchmarking today. Time to overclock again.

Loaded up my settings from my old benchmarking runs, so we’re looking at 222*12 = 2664MHz, over 1.5V to the CPU constant, 2.5-3-3-6 1T at 2.9V. I’m still running with the AMD64 stock HSF. Pushed up the CPU voltage a little higher, woried that it would kill the core.

Tried 233*12 with a different ratio on the FSB / DRAM, changed RAM timings to 3-4-4-8 1T at 2.9V in an attempt to lessen the load. Booted fine, but wouldn’t finish any more than one test in 3DMark2001SE. Had to change BIOS settings around a bit and at one point I tightened the RAM timings. After that, OCEANBLUe refused to boot.

Had to open everything up to clear the CMOS. While doing that, I also reattempted the nForce 4 Ultra to SLi mod. I made sure to make the pencil marks between the two points clear this time, but upon a successful boot I found that the chipset was still detected by the BIOS as a nForce 4 Ultra. Oh well, whatever. It’s not like I’ll be getting an SLi setup.

Tweaked BIOS settings again for a more stable overclock. I ended up with 225*12, CPU voltage something around 1.6V, 2.5-3-3-6 1T at 2.9V, 1:1 FSB / DRAM. Booted fine, using ATi Tool I adjusted the clock speeds on my X800XL to 432 Core, 540 Memory. I tried to find the Maximum Memory Clock, but it’s just a little above 540MHz. Decided to abort after a while. I can clock up to 560MHz on the GDDR3, but the problem is artifacting occurs and the card simply can’t hold up at such speeds and such high temperatures.

Ran through 3DMark2001SE successfully and attained a score of 26713.

I also benched PCMark05 again, getting a score of around 4100. A significant improvement over non-OC final.

I’m surprised at the performance of a modded ATi X800GTO². It can easily be modified up to 16 Pixel Pipelines and clocked to X850XTPE speeds. I can’t hit anything close to X800XT speeds with my X800XL. Add onto that the ATi X800GTO² is very affordable.

Happy with the Corsair XMS’s OC capacity.

And that’s all for now.

winter break.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve absolutly no resolve. I say that I’ll do something, and I really believe that I will. Of course, I end up not listening to anyone. Anything I hear goes into my head for a bit of quick thinking and by the next morning it’s gone off to ‘God-knows-where’. The last blog entry I wrote – I’ve written so many like it before. I don’t know who I think I’m kidding because it’s obviously not working. I can’t even believe my own lies.

That night, I told myself that I was completely over this. It’s all nonsense, I’ve wasted all my time, it doesn’t matter to me. Yadda yadda yadda, I’ve moved along, look at me go. That type of thing. I guess what I said didn’t mean a damn thing because I think back to it again and again.

I’m just as confused as the next person down. Perhaps even more so.

What was I thinking about last night? I’ve got a few little tidbits left over that I can still remember. Something about a wet dog returning back home to its owner, holding onto a vision. Incoherent thoughts right now that I’ll meld into something with substance in good time.

Music Note Early in the mornin’
Risin’ to the street
Light me up that cigarette
And I strap shoes on my feet
Got to find a reason
Reason things went wrong.
Got to find the reason why my money’s all gone.

I got a dalmation
And I can still get high.
I can play the guitar like a mother fucking riot.

Life is too short so love the one you got
Cause you might get run over or you might get shot.
Never had to battle with no bulletproof vest.
Never start no static I just get it off my (chest).
Take a small example, a tip from me…
Take all of your money and give it up to charity.
Lovin’s what I got, it’s within my reach
(and the sublime style is still straight from long beach)
It all comes back to you you’re going to get what you deserve.
Try and test that, you’re bound to get served.
Love’s what I got, don’t start a riot,
You feel it when the dance gets hot.

Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.
Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.

Why I don’t cry when my dog runs away.
I don’t get angry at the bills I have to pay.
I don’t get angry when my mom smokes pot,
Hits that bottle and goes right to the rock.
Fuckin and fighting, it’s all the same.
To live with louie dog’s the only way to stay sane.
Let the lovin’, let the lovin’ come back to me.

Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.
Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.
Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.
Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.
Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.
Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.
Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that.
Lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that. Music Note
Sublime – What I Got

I still do care. I can’t lie.

Listening to: The Suicide Machines – The Killing Blow

into hiding.

I’m going to go run off for a while and avoid blogging altogether. Nothing interesting to write up and I’m going to try and play things safe. I need to sort everything out in my life and to fix up the problems that I’ve made. Let’s patch this boat up before we all drown.

Too much to worry about. Exams are coming up, the first ones at the end of this week. Got to do well on them and left myself up again. Grades have been far too low throughout the whole entire school year.

With or without you, I still can’t think worth crap. 我TMD爱你,你知道的。 就要你。

By the way, there’s an easter egg in my site banner. Use some photo editting software and check the right half of the banner. Play around with brightness and contrast again, see what you can find.

December 9th Edit:
Added in a new Gallery category called Art. If there’s anything interesting that I draw up that is worthy enough to share, I’ll upload it there. Take a look at what’s in there right now. Good stuff.

December 10th Edit:
Added another image into the Art Gallery. Hah.