the past few days.

Let’s start with Saturday, December 17th. Went out with the family and drove to Kuala Selangor. We set out from the house at 10AM and got there at 12:30PM due to poor traffic conditions. Enjoyed a nice lunch, bought some seafood, and went back home. Bought this one scary looking but strangely appetizing thing – sadly, I don’t know the name for it in English. Or in Mandarin. I only know how to say it in 舟山话: sounds like huo bi dae zhong.They’re vicious looking with these wicked retractable claws that look like something off of a praying mantis.

I slept sometime after 4AM. Can’t remember specifics, but I was on the phone and whatnot. Woke up at 9:40ish because my dad came into the room and started talking to me. I don’t remember what we talked about, either. Went out to Jusco for the whole day. I’m not paricularly fond of the place, but I guess it beats staying at home.

Dad bought five badminton rackets (raquets?) and got them all strung. Also bought something else very very nice I’m loving it.

Thought about Christmas shopping a bit. I want to get weights. Anything heavier than what I have right now. Clothing and crap. Just because I’m lacking clothes or something. Nothing else that really strikes my fancy, although I could choose to indulge if I felt like it. Then again, my assets are entirely under the control of my parents so tough luck.

Today, drafted up a list of things to get done over the break. Wonder how long I’ll stick fast to what it says. I moved the Harmon Kardon speakers up to my own bedroom, vacuumed my room to clear it of a year’s worth of dust. Now I’ve got my PSP up there belting out music as I see fit. Woohoo!

Getting letters from a number of ‘leadership conferences’. Don’t know what to think about those. I still haven’t received my PSAT scores yet. I want those back.

Well, on to what’s important to me today. I’m nice and all. I can compromise, I forgive, I feel guilt. I reflect on my actions and when I find that I’m the one at fault, I apologize for what I’ve done. However, that’s not a valid reason for anyone to shed the weight of their own problems onto me entirely. While I do make mistakes, I’m not responsible if anyone’s life takes a turn for the worse. There’s no way in hell that I messed up your whole life. That’s bullshit. Think about what you did to me, kthx.

I’m still not at peace with myself. I can apologize, it’s up to you to be mature and accept. This ‘hatred’ that you claim to have for me, I don’t understand where it comes from. It’s funny how feelings change.

More some other date. I can’t think right now.

Ah. Finally, changed around my blog logo a bit. Note I loved, for anyone who found the easter egg. And perhaps I still do. But is my dream really worth the price? Is the reward great enough to keep me going at it? And even if I come back with what I set out to get, how long can I hold on?

December 21 Edit:
Did some more overclocking just to play around. The result, still using AMD64 stock cooler. Is this good?

Listening to: Puddle of Mudd – Nothing Left to Lose