somber?

Now Playing: OK Go – Invincible

Excerpt from Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried:

And then the letter gets very sad and serious. Rat pours his heart out. He says he loved the guy. He says the guy was his best friend in the world. They were like soul mates, he says, like twins or something, they had a whole lot in common. He tells the guy’s sister he’ll look her up when the war’s over.

So what happens?

Rat mails the letter. He waits two months. The dumb cooze never writes back.

Listen to Rat: “Jesus Christ, man, I write this beautiful fuckin’ letter, I slave over it, and what happens? The dumb cooze never writes back.”

help me prove myself.

Now Playing: Rob Seals – Cover Man

I’m sick of being complacent with mediocrity. I’m capable of far more than I’ve been showing to my teachers. I started my senior year with my head held up high, full intention of doing well and going far in life. I had my objectives in mind, I was determined to get further ahead of the pack than I had ever been before. I let myself slip immediately. I’m ready to pick myself up and to make a difference, though. There are some old habits that have to go.

Help me, please.

what have i done?

I can’t help but think that I’ve done something terrible, something unforgivable. I cried for the first time since my family vacation to Australia. I used to choke back sobs and to feel miserable for myself. Today I kept wiping away the hot tears as they came down and I ended up hurting myself as well. I scratched up my right arm with my fingernails, swiping at the tendons in my wrist and carving a broad red line into my skin. I landed a few solid blows to my head and to my left arm. I was shocked with how quickly I hit myself. I didn’t even stop to think and the pain didn’t catch up with me until far later.

I want someone to be there for me in times like these.