June 22nd, 2010

I’ve failed to keep a close log of the day to day events again, and this sudden entry to the present may seem strange, though I know it is fitting in context.

Okay, remember what happened to your relationship with [V], and how things came to an end. Remember that it all took place because you behaved inappropriately, and because you were so caught up with chasing [LL] that you forgot all about [V]. Recall that your love for [V] may have been founded on an appreciation of sex alone, though you did at some point love her.

I’m confused about the future, and my revelations about the past were with me for only a fleeting second. We both cried our eyes out on Sunday through to the evening. We had passionate sex twice that day until [V]’s pussy was raw and sore to the touch, and then her period came that night.

I was fired from Schlumberger on June 21st, 2010. This was just five or six weeks from the time that I had started working there. Joanna Carpenter, the HR representative who handed me the termination papers, called for security because I must have been displaying some aggressive behavior not suited for the sterile workplace environment.

What a fucking mess I have made of things. I’ve told myself after much reflection that I am to blame for the death of my relationship because of what I did to make [V] so horrified by my leaving — that is, I cheated on her with [LL]. If I could take it all back, I would. My violence towards [DC] on Saturday night was also avoidable, and there were so many ways that I went wrong. Never should I have allowed him to touch [V]. I shouldn’t have agreed when he suggested that threesome idea. Something like that is unnatural for a man to allow to happen to his girl. I should have loved [V] when I had the chance to.