July 12th, 2010

It’s been five days since I was served (haha) with court papers from the Sheriff’s office. A lady cop came to the Boulder Towers and I met her outside, by the side of the building. She informed me simply that I would make an appearance in front of the judge, and that I would have an opportunity to explain my side of the situation.

I suspect that the consequences of this matter shall be most severe, though avoidable should I play my cards right. That is I must demonstrate the goodness of my character and show that I am calm, cool, and collected. I will not be driven to action unchecked by fiery (sic) emotion ..

July 5th, 2010

I start work at H&P in the morning. Am having trouble falling asleep – could have been the tea that I took at [Ra-O]’s earlier, perhaps it was caffeinated enough to keep my tired mind active. As it were, plenty on my mind already.

Did something unusual yesterday afternoon with [V]. After church I worked up a sweat trying to start the SAE Baja car, only to end in disappointment. Went to [V]’s office to find her there, working on something. A poem on her screen – I am the master of my fate, the captain of my soul. Invited her to come with me, put down all of this boring work and let’s go back to my place. She did.

Ended up having sex. Didn’t think much of it, just to love her with passion. Gave her oral to point of orgasm. Begged for penis to penetrate her deeply. I stopped only after both of us were sweating, tired. Took a moment’s rest, still sweating and her body an ember. Had more sex, pulled out, came on her face and body.

She went silent. Didn’t cry. Just wiped herself clean and left. Tried to console her before she left. She didn’t say much, probably feeling degraded. Called later to no response.

Later I went to visit, see if she was back at home. Thought that would be helpful. Ken was sitting outside, poring over two open books. I said hello, he looked fine. He told me that [V] was in the hospital – Karen took her there. Police had come by at [V]’s call. What?!

Talked with Ken for some time, asking questions and feeding on what words he had to say. He opened to me about some of his past wrongs. Premarital sex, he said, was most troubling. Not drinking and thrill-seeking. He looked moist in the eyes when telling me about son fighting in Afghanistan. Shed a tear saying that if there was one thing he would change above all, wishes he were virgin at marriage to Karen.

July 4th, 2010

I’m back in church for Sunday service, and what a day it is going to be. Yesterday marked the end of so many things, and I welcome this Independence Day with an open heart and open hands. I vow to avoid continuing fights with [V], and to move on a better man.

I received as a gift a pair of slippers from [V]. On Friday, July 2nd, we went pistol shooting and I got my hands on the baby Glock 26. I had [V] choose a gun, too. Ended up with the EMP, a compact Springfield 1911 modified with some extra niceties. That same day, I took both [WW] and [KM] to the airport.

Today in church I have seen [MQ]. She asked me how I’ve been. I opened myself to a hug as a sign of greeting. The church family is praying for her – she is leaving soon to a mission trip to China.

I visited [JS] and her toy poodle, Parker, at her Mayo Village apartment yesterday in the late afternoon. She and I went out to eat dinner together, and we made an evening visit to Petsmart. Tux and Parker make for interesting friends, if Tux only knew how to play. I had fun watching the two small animals interact, Tux preferring to keep to himself, and generally not caring for the playful demeanor of the little dog. Maybe we will arrange a future play date.